Thursday, January 22, 2009

the cost of character...


"A man lays the foundation of true greatness when he becomes more concerned with building his character than with expanding his reputation." - William A. Ward

When I was in 6th grade I did something most 6th graders only dream of. I pulled off an enormous feat. Something so extraordinary that when I look back on it now, I am still astounded at my ability to engineer something so methodical yet so sinister. I was good... and I knew it. 

It was the Christmas season of 1993. It was my brother's turn to open up the present that I had probably spent three dollars on at the school Santa Shop. I knew it wasn't anything special... I only bought gifts for my brothers because I had to. It was a fake gold chain. As my brother opened his present he screamed with excitement. You would have thought I bought him a Super Nintendo. I had no idea such a cheap gift that I spent zero time picking out would cause such a commotion. My brother loved it. Over the next week I became extremely jealous over his love for the necklace. I began to wish I had bought it for myself. 

As a kid I would attend an Awana's program at a local baptist church every Friday night. On one occasion I begged my brother to wear the necklace. I thought for sure I would get the attention that I had known all too well. My notions were confirmed when I showed up that night. I walked around puffed up as kids began to notice my borrowed status symbol. Little did they know that it really wasn't anything special. They had no idea that it was already starting to tarnish and would sometimes leave a bluish-green stain around my neck. Later that night a boy much younger than I approached me with a proposition. He began to tell me that for Christmas his Grandmother had given him not one, but two crisp one hundred dollar bills. I had never even seen a hundred dollar bill before. I doubted their existence so he pulled them out of his pocket and instantly I was awestruck.  It didn't take long to make me a believer. He then told me that he was prepared to give one of the hundred dollar bills to me in exchange for my brothers necklace. Well, I didn't even hesitate... I mean come on, do you know how many cheap necklaces I can buy with one hundred dollars! It was the perfect scandal... and I was rich. I even ended up telling my brother I had lost his necklace and I never had to buy him a new one. Many years later I shared that story with my family. They couldn't believe I did such a horrible thing. It really was awful.  What is even more awful is the way it reflected my fractured character at such a young age. 

I once heard someone say, "Character is what you are when nobody is looking." I remember when having "good character" used to be an important thing to aim for. Unfortunately, I'm beginning to believe it's something less sought after these days. I feel like everyday I hear about people who are willing to whore out their integrity in the search of self-gain. Whatever happened to the desire to do what is right... even when nobody else is watching? Does striving for integrity still exist? Is altruism real? I believe it is... I know it is. I write this to serve as a reminder. All too often I find myself looking back on good intentions that never really surface because I'm too lazy to grapple over what I want and what is right. I forget that righteous character is worth fighting for! 

Are you contributing to the demise of good character? Do you find yourself reluctant to fight for what is virtuous and honorable? Do you willingly hand over your integrity for instant gratification? It's easy to do... we all do it. But if there is ever going to be hope for this world, it requires people who are willing and ready to stand up and do battle with themselves. People who will do the right thing even if nobody notices. It starts with the small things. Is the character of Christ worth fighting for? What will it take... what do you need to do?


Thursday, January 15, 2009

a heart like freddie...


I woke up this morning with an intense desire to stay under my warm covers all day. Since when is Pittsburgh, PA supposed to feel like the arctic tundra? It's freaking cold outside! As I got ready for my day I lamented over the amount of time it would take for me to scrape away the many layers of ice on my car. Days like these make me consider investing in one of those remote control starters! Bundled up in all of my warm attire... I waited as my garage door screeched open and the subzero air instantly engulfed my domain. I could hardly take a breath. As I walked toward my car I suddenly realized my predicament wasn't what I thought it would be. In fact, I had no predicament at all because someone had taken the time to scrape the ice off my car for me. I felt so fortunate. I looked around and saw that not only was my car scraped off, but all of my neighbor's cars were shed of their icy enclosures as well! Standing there across the street was my neighbor Freddie. He had spent the morning scraping all of the cars before people left for work. I couldn't believe he would do such a kind thing. 

Later that day I stopped by the house to grab a sandwich before I headed out to another meeting. While pulling into my driveway I realized that someone had shoveled my sidewalk and driveway. As I got out of my car I realized that a number of my other neighbors driveways and sidewalks were shoveled as well. The sight of this caught me off-guard because many of my neighbors are gone all day at work. I glanced across the street and there was Freddie... red faced and sweaty. Freddie spent the morning shoveling and salting the neighborhood. Who does that? Apparently Freddie...! I showered him with thanks and appreciation. That kind of service really meant a lot to me. 

After a long day, I was anxious to come home and eat some dinner with my wonderful wife. In the middle of dinner I got a phone call... it was Freddie. He told me to come to the front door, so I did. There Freddie stood with a plate of freshly made pumpkin cake with cream cheese icing. It was incredible... like manna from heaven!

Ok... let me just say this.... I think Freddie loves Jesus more than I do! Seriously... this man blows my mind. To have a heart like that... to bless people... to make an impact... to serve. It's just not natural. This attitude is a God-given gift and I don't even think Freddie knows it. Freddie is showing me the love of Jesus... and I want him to know it. I had a conversation with Freddie a few months ago about God and the church. He told me he would never step foot in a church again. Many years ago he worshipped weekly at a church with his family. He worked multiple jobs to meet his families needs and did everything he could to provide. Freddie found himself struggling to make ends meet... but was too proud to ask for help. A preacher at his church approached Freddie one Sunday to ask him to up his giving to help support the church budget. Freddie explained his current financial situation to the preacher and expressed his remorse for not being able to give more. The preacher responded with this... "I believe God wants me to tell you to take another job so that you can give more money to the church." Freddie left and never returned. 

Freddie loves Jesus but hates the church. Unfortunately,... I can't blame him. I wished a quarter of all church goers were like Freddie. It would make a huge impact on this world. I want a heart like Freddie... because Freddie has a heart like Jesus. I hope you have a Freddie in your life!

Monday, December 29, 2008

the weight of fear....


If you know me... you know that I have a paralyzing fear. A fear that haunts me to the core. This fear to some may seem unrealistic... but to me it is very real. I have an insatiable fear of Zombies. Go ahead... get it out of your system. Laugh and point. But i'm not laughing. I am wetting my pants. Even reading the word Zombie sends shivers down my spine. My friend just purchased a brand new video game based on a Zombie Apocalypse. Just trying to play this game makes me scream like a little girl. I'm serious,... people would pay money to watch me play the game. Zombies scare me. They always have... and always will. 

Although, i'm really not ignorant enough to believe Zombies walk the Earth... I truly believe if they did... i'd be ready. I know exactly what I would do if there was an outbreak. I have had lengthy conversations about fighting tactics, defense mechanisms,
and survival. I have even read Max Brook's book: The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead. My fear has created this obsession with preparing for the worst. My fear has prepared me for the future. So,... not if, but when the outbreak happens... you know who to talk to.

Fear is a funny thing. People do some incredible things because of fear, others do nothing. Fear. We all taste it... what ever it is for us... we know it well. We know what is smells like... what it feels like under our skin. We can hear fear screaming in our ears. Whether it's fear of failure, resistance or self-doubt... we know every aspect of our fear. We've played out the different scenarios in our head of how to avoid it at all costs. Fear, if you let it, will dominate you. It will stop you in your tracks and bury you. I know this feeling all to well. Too many times in my life I've let fear make up my mind for me. 

Some of my biggest heroes in life have faced fear, looked deep in it's eyes and kept on going. It's not that fear hasn't been in the way for them... they just didn't let it change their course. I want to live like that. I want to see fear... and charge right through it. I'm not naive enough to think my heroes don't have fear... they do... but they don't let it make decisions for them. I want to walk with firm steps... knowing that I am not alone and fear has no authority over me. I want to live like I believe Isaiah 41:10 

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 

Do you know your fear like it's a part of you? Have you gone to extreme lengths because fear has taken you there? Know this: the only weight fear has is the weight you give it. Fear does not have the last word. God has already given you the ability to stare fear in the face... and keep on going. You just have to believe it and then do it. What will it take for you to walk with confidence knowing that God will see you through your fear? You may discover that you have been given strength you didn't even know you had!